just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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