My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
