Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We had to coat check the pizza.
ttyl tear gas
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
