Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
