there's paper in my vomit.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
