yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Randomize
