she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
