woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
