"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
