You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
