She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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