What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
