The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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