So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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