were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
