just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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