Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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