I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I have fence marks all over my body
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
