So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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