I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
