i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
