last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
