Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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