so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
