Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Do you still have your period?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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