how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
