Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
