I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
