So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
