I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
