You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
