Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
