last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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