butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
