so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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