Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.

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(518): View more from New York

my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...

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(940): View more from Texas

I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.

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(845): View more from New York

Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.

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(970): View more from Colorado

just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.

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(541): View more from Oregon

I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.

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