Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
