Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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