They should really pass out barf bags in church
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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