Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
