Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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