You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
There's a naked man in my car right now.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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