1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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