worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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