Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
