why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
