Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
