Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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