yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
