Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
