More tranny stories later!
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
