You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
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I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
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I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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