you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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