Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
