my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Your dad touched me again.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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