i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize