Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
40s are totally the cure
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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