if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
