...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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