she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize