We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
i out mim tonsoeep
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
