my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
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